Women with migraines are keenly aware of how much their headaches affect their loved ones. Each month, migraines cause hours of family time to be lost. Social plans, “family quality time,” recreational activities, trips and holiday celebrations often have to be cancelled. Women with migraines end up feeling guilty and upset that they cannot always be fully involved in family life or complete their household responsibilities. Young children may be confused by their mother’s unavailability while older children tend to more adaptive. Spouses complain of tension in the marriage and reduced quality and frequency of sexual relations.
But the impact is not nearly as bad as you might think.
Here’s how migraineurs described their families’ reactions:
• 64% were understanding
• 47% were sympathetic
• 45% were resigned and accepting
• 12% were resentful
Furthermore, the incidence of serious tension that arises in marriage due to migraines is really very small. The divorce and separation rate is 5%.
In other words, the vast majority of families and spouses are very supportive. Coping with migraine can be a collaborative effort within the family. Here are some things loved ones can do:
• Learn as much as possible about migraine in general: they will find plenty of information on the National Headache Foundation Web site, www.headaches.org
• Come to a migraine appointment with your healthcare provider: he or she can explain the condition to them
• Join local support groups that help families deal with migraines
• Participate in family counseling to help reduce tensions
• Help with household chores
• Arrange back-up help (such as a friend or neighbor) to look after young children
• Plan ahead when possible
